Thursday, May 17, 2012

On gay marriages

On one hand, there is the joke about why we would even want to get married at all. On the other, there is this:

"As a child, when I thought of the future, all I could see was black. I wasn’t miserable or depressed. I was a cheerful boy, as happy playing with my posse of male friends in elementary school as I was when I would occasionally take a day by myself in the woodlands that surrounded the small town I grew up in. But when I thought of the distant future, of what I would do and be as a grown-up, there was a blank. I simply didn’t know how I would live, where I would live, who I could live with. I knew one thing only: I couldn’t be like my dad. For some reason, I knew somewhere deep down that I couldn’t have a marriage like my parents.

It’s hard to convey what that feeling does to a child. In retrospect, it was a sharp, displacing wound to the psyche. At the very moment you become aware of sex and emotion, you simultaneously know that for you, there is no future coupling, no future family, no future home. In the future, I would be suddenly exiled from what I knew: my family, my friends, every household on television, every end to every romantic movie I’d ever seen."

I hope you spare some thought for your gay friends.

Full story: Christian Group Shows Up To Chicago Gay Pride Holding Apologetic Signs

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Razielle said...

The other day I retweeted this message because I thought it was funny: " I think anyone (gay, straight, transexual, what have you) should be allowed to get married. I just don't know why anyone would want to"
I only got married 2 years ago even if I have been with the same guy since I was 17 (I'm now 33). I initially didn't see the need for it but eventually learned that being married offers more financial rewards (I got coverage under his medical insurance, etc). compared to just living together. Tama, everyone should be allowed to get married if they want to, like I was able to. Mas madali ang buhay dito kapag kasal. Halimbawa, nuong hindi pa kami kasal ng asawa ko, I had to have a stupid affidavit made explaining why the surname in my passport was different from the surname my daughter (then 4) had in her passport application. Labo.

Thank you for blogging about this. 

Jason D. said...

Don't get me wrong, I did appreciate the humor in that tweet :-) (And yep, I must have read it from your timeline.) I'm sure there are gay couples who won't even considering marrying each other, but what the article made me realize was that, yeah, I had a hard time imagining a future with my then partner/s. It really was blank -- I couldn't tell if we would need to migrate to another country where gay marriage is legal, or if we'd be allow to raise kids, and how that kid would be treated in school or in the community. I couldn't wrap my mind around it since there is no template -- I personally don't know anyone who's done it. 

And yep, of course, these are aside the legal benefits which you've mentioned.

Laurene Marie said...

Hey Kuya J! Thank you for this article. My stand on gay marriage is a lot like that tweet. While I believe nobody should be discriminated against, even when it comes to marriage, I simply don't see why there's a terrible need for marriage at all. This is a good point and a very important consideration on the matter. I actually feel embarrassed I haven't seen it this way. I will re-post this if you don't mind. :)

Jason D. said...

Hey Laurene, glad I was able to give you a different perspective. :-) Sure re: reposting

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