Wednesday, October 05, 2011

No Other Woman

rating: 3.5/10 (plus 0.5 for the welcome absence of product placements, which Star Cinema is known for)

At the beginning of the movie, Ram (Derek Ramsey), a furniture designer, explains how you make someone fall into your trap so you could eventually get what you want from him/her. The advice only works for hot people because the way to do this, as perfectly demonstrated by the lead characters, is to preen and pout the whole time, show off your armpits, flip the hair, flash the underside of your boobs, flex your biceps, and once you have your target panting after you, leave him/her for good. No one in the screenwriting department bothered to give these characters wit, humor or intelligence because apparently, good looks and wealth are enough; although let's face it, that is true as far as some cases in the real world go.

So we see hot people with no ability to draw me into their conversations: they talk about themselves a lot, including problems that are really non-problems.

Cara (Anne Curtis): I don't like big beds because I don't like it if there's too much space. It makes me feel alone... you know what I'm saying?

Me: Girl, kebs.

Such convoluted explanations are what's so frustrating about this film. At one point, we even see Ram having a conversation about golf with his lolo on his deathbedwhat for?! This is a movie about Ram's adultery! If we saw Derek's bulging crotch, that would have strengthened the movie's premise much better, and yes, I'm being serious about this. (e.g., "Ang laki naman pala ng etits ni Derek kaya pinag-aagawan sya nila Anne Curtis at Cristine Reyes [the wife, Sharmaine].") It's also curious why Cara, a man-eater and who could otherwise get any man she wants by flaunting her armpit, would fall in love with Ram. He's not smart, funny or witty; he plagiarizes the designs of Kenneth Cobonpue; and his good looks can only go so far as a few trysts may goso what makes these gorgeous women salivate over Derek? The film might as well have demonstrated the power a huge penis has over its sexual subjects if it couldn't provide its female characters depth (there's a bad pun in there somewhere).

If they are not talking, then they are having sex. The "sex scenes" weren't good enough for me either because I've seen sexier times between Jollibee and Twirlie.

The characters are vapid; no one seems to be in need of money; no one is likely to be the country's president; and they don't appear to be having great sexwhy are these people so desperate for each other?

For all its over-explanations in areas which are non-concerns in the realm of adultery, the movie failed to establish why having sex, and consequently, falling in love with a person you're not committed to is worth gambling your relationship with your husband/wife for.

3 * :

Katrina said...

lol laugh trip ako sa line na ito: "He's not smart, funny or witty; he plagiarizes the designs of Kenneth Cobonpue"

hay naku, mas enjoy pa yung mga improbable 80s adultery movies like Palimos ng Pagibig!

Deepa said...

They showed underboob? Really? Whose?

Jason said...

Iggy - Iyan nga din ang kinukwento sakin sa office! Yung mga tipong Dina Bonnevie and Cherie Gil starrer!

Deepa -- Anne Curtis's; pano naman ang bikini top nya ay pa-x ang cut ( di ko alam tawag).

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