Monday, July 06, 2009

Stay away from Villa Estrella

This post is full of spoilers because frankly, who cares?

It's interesting for me that despite an atrocious screenplay, I cannot seem to hate Villa Estrella (that much). Maybe because it didn't even attempt to scare -- the sea monster (yes, the mumu is a funny-looking monster played by Maja Salvador) doesn't even shock or surprise. Instead, it announces its presence by bubbling itself up the pool, which makes one wonder why the eventual victims don't even attempt to run away given this warning.

In other words, it's fucking hilarious.

It all happens at the decrepit resort, Villa Estrella. I'll spare everyone of the cast's respective characterizations and background -- they don't matter anyway because their collective IQ is that of a mosquito's. Trapped in the resort are Shaina Magdayao and Jake Cuenca, former lovers; Geoff Eigenmann, her present boyfriend; Empoy, Geoff's friend; Ronnie Lazaro as caretaker; a lady staff and her daughter.

The pool is haunted by Maja Salvador, who claims her victims either by snatching them from the pool or pushing them into the pool. The movie established that the caretakers know the pool claims a victim every now and then. Of course, knowing this, no one should even go near the pool, but in this movie, everyone's brainless so they all wander near it (and despite the bubble warning as mentioned in the first paragraph). Their IQ also explains why no one even bothered to drain the pool despite the fact that no one has swam there in years.

Maybe the previous victims actually died of dengue and not by supernatural means. Or maybe Maja was not just a sea -- correction, chlorinated water -- monster but the queen of dengue. That would have made for a more interesting storyline.

As the monster of chlorine water, Maja has dreadlocks fashioned out of twigs. She is color green and spews out green bile, presumably algae.

She can also topple statues. In one scene, Shaina climbs a statue of a lady which overlooks the pool. The statue falls over and pins her down under the pool.

Of course, we're mean so Mon and I laughed at Shaina when this happened.

You'd expect Pinoys to be screaming out of their wits on this one -- I mean come on... it's a swimming pool monster!!! Instead, in the half-full (I'm an optimist!) movie theater, there was only one lady who kept screaming at the shocker scenes; we imagine she's the type of lady who screams at every mundane moments -- such as when the traffic light goes green, then she goes "Aaaay!" And there were only two who were laughing at the otherwise serious moments -- I and Mon.

At the end of the screening, the guy behind me couldn't help express his frustration: Ang corny naman!

Ang corny nga. But at least we got a few laughs out of it, and it is way better than Sundo. (But that doesn't say a lot, really.)

No need to waste your money on this. Just wait for it on Cinema One if you really like cheap thrills.

9 * :

auee said...

Decent Pinoy horror films are hard to come by.
I was going to say the Kris Aquino starrer with this "lotus feet" (forgot the title) was ok, kaya lang Chinese naman. Di pa din authentic.
For me, "Shake, Rattle & Roll" with Herbert Bautista & the manananggal pa din ang true-blue-Pinoy-shocker of all time.

I try to stay away from Pinoy films to do with:
3-sci fi -->> eeecckk

Jason said...

Maganda nga yung kay Kris (Feng Shui), and I think pwede mo naman sya i-consider na Pinoy :-)

Isa pang maganda yung Sigaw ni Yam Laranas starring Richard Gutierrez and Angel Locsin. It was made into a Hollywood film starring Jesse Bradford kaso parang di na pinalabas sa mga theaters.

LOL at your three reasons. Juice ko, wala tayong kapag-a-pagasa sa sci fi, haha

Deepa said...

nag-flashback ako bigla sa horror movie ng tgis cast. grabe pati yon pinatulan ko, haha.

i don't think i have ever seen a good pinoy horror movie. i've heard a lot of good things about sigaw though. i wish i could get a copy here.

Jason said...

Searched the net earlier and the US version got good reviews too. It was shown in Korea na yata. Hopefully it gets here and Singapore.

auee said...

hehe I barely know Angel Locsin at ang mental picture ko kay Richard G is one of a chubby boy drinking milk

I'll check that film.

Joanna said...

Best part about Villa Estrella was the teaser of And I Love You So. I'm definitely watching that one! It's been a while since I've seen Bea Alonzo looking that beautiful. (Bye-bye Betty la Fea!) And of course we screamed when we saw Derek Ramsay and screamed louder when Sam Milby appeared onscreen.

Besonia said...

Haha! Mukang masaya nga panoorin 'to. Ganyan din ako. Pag corny yung palabas na nakakatakot o kaya nakakaiyak, natatawa lang ako . hehehe. ayos

Elvin said...

Haha. I'm usually easy to please when it comes to horror movies but I found Villa Estrella really bad also. For me, two of the best locol horror films we've had are Sigaw and Txt.

Jason said...

I guess we can all agree on Sigaw :-) Never heard of Txt.

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